Authenticity

It’s the beginning of a new year, at least according to the Gregorian calendar and with that comes an almost compulsive need to make “resolutions”.

I do not engage in resolutions nor do I work with the usual intention setting, mind maps, vision boards, or other similar processes because they interfere with the natural flow of my creativity. To those who benefit from these practices I say: “Wonderful!” To those who do not I say: “Trust yourself!”

It’s taken time for me to understand and appreciate my own creative process and I write about it because I know from my own experience that it’s easy to succumb to cultural norms and leave ourselves behind.

To “be ourselves no matter what they say”, marks a defining and defying moment into adulthood but younger parts of ourselves may be left behind in an unnamable anxious tug between belonging and authenticity.

“If I am myself, will I be all alone? “Will people still love me?” “Will I be safe?” These are universal concerns and if these concerns are not skillfully brought up to conscious awareness and transformed, we will find ourselves in an ongoing struggle with what feels like an irreconcilable task.

Recently in a talk I heard from Gabor Mate, MD, known for his expertise in trauma, said that so much of our “small-t trauma” is the result of our perception that we are caught between the need for attachment and our wish to be authentic. Authenticity and attachment are basic human needs. When we allow ourselves to be emotionally honest with where we stand in relationship to our attachment needs, our relationship to authenticity becomes clear.

Ideally we discover that we can be authentically attached. In the journey, is the revelation.